shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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