it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
wow bdsm is so cute
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