did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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