Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
