I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
