you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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