ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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