ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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