toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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