Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
