Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
