he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
