I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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