If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
