At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
