dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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