How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
