they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
