Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
