It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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