So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
