guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
