i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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