oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
