shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
