awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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