12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize