mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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