I'm so fucking centered right now
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize