Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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