look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize