why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
