FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
