bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
