Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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