the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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