you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
