i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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