I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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