Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
