Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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