i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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