worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
