Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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