I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
