? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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