I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
