i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
