the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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