I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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