I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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