ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
