2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
