The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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