check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
