You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
