I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
