she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
