If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize
