yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
